So I have been depressed for the longest and was looking for family figures to fill in the pain. But knowing that they where and are not my real family just made it worse. I could always go to my hubby for advice or just an ear, but after a while that can really bug someone just hearing what may seem to be the same stories every time they are told. And telling your sister or best friend is way much more affective than most. So after my dad died and all my siblings moved outta state, or just seemed distant with me, I attached myself to my hubby’s family. His sister in laws became my sisters, his girl cousins became my best friends who knew everything. My excape from my everyday living, or even just the taunting depression, was still in a locked enviorment. But that was the best I could do or try to get. Since I don’t drive visiting with old friends and far family is hard for me. Not only that but being a full time homemaker is not really ideal to just make the meet and greets all the time. I have things here I need done. I know my family is all grown up and has a life of their own, but when I needed them the most I still had to come to them, as to where my hubby’s family was there in a drop of a hat.

Well one person is more so “there” than anyone. Our sister in law has made it her daily, more like hourly, duty to “check” on us. For a while I thought her intitions where good. So I took into it like a much needed breath of freash air. And now my soul is a dark as my lungs. Her “playfulness” with my hubby increased more when I lied to her saying I didn’t think of her as a threat. I know she is not stupid enough to make a move being that she is with my hubby’s brother, and she is so not my hubby’s type. Ever since they moved into the same city as us we recive phone calls hourly, texting daily, she even calls his job(yes my, MY, hubby’s job). She does the same to me, just to make it seem like she is not flirting, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I feel bad that I want nothing to do with her anymore. She has been there for me. And I know she is a good peroson, sometimes. But most the time she is a monster. I follow up with her more so than my own family now and once I even ignored my child because of her. My hubby and I are very knid and selfless people. We let his brother and the monster borrow $500 knowing we needed it fro our family, knowing we live a life worse than her own, and have only seen $100 of that repaid but yet they have money for all these un-needed things and never spend it on their children’s needed. I have a nephew that is not even one yet that all he does is sit in a baby swing. He has done that his whole life (7 months) just because they don’t want him being use to being in arms. I told them that they will regret that someday. Reason being, he will never be a baby again and they just blew their time holding their baby just to play the playstation or call me and nag about stupid stuff and see what my family has been doing. Noting is more fun than a life of depression and stress.

My hubby tells me all the time not to worry about money so much, but when my children have to go without or we have late charges on our bills because of selfish people it’s hard to not worry. And not being able to explain that to him because he just doesn’t get it, sucks. My sister has lately told me a great piece of information, K.I.S.S. it. Keep It Simple Silly. So now that I am, it seems more like a relationship with my sister in law. She even called me today while on the toilet. Really? And to make matters worse I was cleaning and she heard my frustration and still didn’t let me go. I finally told her I was busy and she called again an hour later to see what I was doing, eating dinner, and still sat there and told me about what happen in that hour we didn’t speak. Lately if we don’t hangout with her and their family durig the weekend she flips and calls me to see if I missed her. Really?  A month ago she told me she was looking in her call log and she said she called my house phone 31 times in a day and 27 times to the cell phone my hubby and I share. And, like I said, she is a mother of three children! Really? Sometimes I just wish I could tell her to back the f bomb off and get a life within her family. Being nice is too much for me. But that is all I seem to do since my dad died five years ago. Even though I know I am not in the wrong I still feel like the monster.

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